“When it comes to other people, we’re all experts……but are novices about ourselves” – A quote courtesy of Allison AllieKat Clark, FaceBook Status 23/10/2014
Judgement – We all like to think we don’t do it. We like to think that we are indiscriminate, accepting others as they are.
But are we really? Here are some things to ponder…..
You’re at traffic lights waiting to cross, and next to you, also waiting to cross, is a man who looks unsightly and is a bit on the smelly side…..are you thinking how disgusting? Do you move a little further away from him? Do you cross quickly so as to get away from him as fast as you can? Do you feel superior to him in any way?……..that, my friend, is judgement.
You walk past a large woman and her large child in a take away store to order a meal…..are
you thinking, even briefly, how terrible for her to be there, or how could she do that to her child? Do you stand on the other side of the shop away from them? Are you able to make eye contact with her, smile or talk to her without that at the back of your mind? Do you feel superior to them, eg glad you are not like that?……..that, my friend, is judgement.
You’re walking down the street, and a lady walks past you at a faster pace than you. You notice her clothing is mismatched – bright pink tracksuit pants with a green and purple jumper which has some sort of yellow pattern on it, and black sneakers, while her hair is wildly messy and she’s walking hunched with long strides…..are you thinking her taste in clothing is a catastrophe, or maybe she got dressed in the dark? Do you pull a face or smirk as you look at her walk by? Do you giggle to yourself or laugh? Do you shake your head in disbelief? Is it a funny status update on social media later? Do you feel superior to her in any way, eg maybe you’re better educated or glad you have better coordination?……..that, my friend, is judgement.
You’re driving down the road at 11pm one night when all of a sudden, a kid darts out of a side street on his bike, no helmet, and dark clothing. You slam on your brakes and notice it is a boy who looks about 12…….after calling him a bloody idiot, are you thinking where are his parents, or what sort of parents let their child out this late, or his parents mustn’t care about him, or his parents must be derelicts not fit to be parents? Do you go home and tell people what just happened and your opinion of the boy’s parents? Do you feel superior to them in any way eg like you’d be a better parent or are a better parent?……that, my friend, is judgement.
Consider the child who fell in the gorilla cage, and the whole world who condemned the mother for not watching her child, and the zoo for killing the gorilla – judgement!
Consider when someone commits suicide and the people who call them selfish – judgement!
Consider a child who swallows something which requires hospitalisation, and the people who call the parents irresponsible – judgement!
Consider someone famous who has ended up in rehab, or who has been caught doing something illegal, and the world who shuns them, rejects them and harasses them over it – judgement!
Right or wrong, we all judge, and always will. We do it every day. We do it subconsciously. We do it deliberately. We do it out of shock. We do it out of amusement. We do it from our opinion. We do it from our perspective and experiences of life. We do it from our views and morals. But the one thing we all do, and do so very well all the time, is judge others.
We tend to be experts on everyone around us. Experts on our loved ones, our neighbours, people we associate with periodically, people we only know by sight or name, people we don’t know at all, famous people – everyone! Everyone, that is, except ourselves. We are not very good at looking at ourselves and being honest. We tell ourselves lies about ourselves more so than truth. Ever told yourself you’re ugly? That you have no friends? That you’re hopeless? That you’re dumb? Or a whole multitude of other negatives? They are called lies, and you are saying them to yourself! Judging yourself by looking through a fractured mirror.
So, just as Allison AllieKat Clark wrote in her status update on FaceBook on 23/10/2014 – “When it comes to other people, we’re all experts……but are novices about ourselves” – it is so much closer to the truth than we would like to admit. So, think twice next time you say “I never judge.” Who are you trying to convince? Others, or yourself?