Mothers Day just passed last Sunday, 14th May 2017.
This was the first year that my twins weren’t with me for Mothers Day lunch. To say I wasn’t hurt would be a lie. I never contemplated they would one day have to divide their time. But here I was, this year, faced with the inevitable. My boys are all grown up.
For me, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t a priority on Mothers Day. I felt rejected and last on their list of things to do. Every year, Mothers Day has been lunch with my boys. Part of me was disgruntled because they should have known that. Of all the days in a year, how could they do this to their mother? I was very upset.
In a group inbox message, they offered to take me to dinner on Monday night, but it felt like a real let down because it’s not the same and so, I was hurt a little bit more. To try and sort out my head, I contacted one of my twins privately and asked him what was so important that they couldn’t come to lunch. When he told me, and I had calmed down enough to think about what he said, I felt horrible. I had put myself and my ego on a pedestal for Mothers Day expecting my boys to worship me and give me all of their attention. How selfish of an attitude I had compared to that of my twins. I was so wrapped up in my boys making me feel special and important that I forgot just how special and important they are to me, and just how proud of them I am. They were looking after a very sick relative and here I was making a noise about not being paid all of their attention on Mothers Day.
As it turned out, my boys took me to dinner on Sunday night instead of Monday night. This made my heart a little happier because it was still on Mothers Day. It is hard to accept things are changing but I have to roll with it because that is life’s constant – nothing stays the same indefinitely.
For most of us, Mothers Day is about acknowledging the great impact our mother has had on our life, the sacrifices she made for us and the many times she had to clean up our vomit. For some of us though, Mothers Day is not a joyous occasion. It’s a reminder that someone significant is the reason we carry so much hurt.
One of those people is my boyfriend whom I love very much. This year he spent Mothers Day with me and my family. He also came to dinner with my boys. It was a wonderful day and he had a great time. Sadly, in the background of his mind, was the reminder that his mum is not the loving mother she should be, which is the reason why she is not a part of his life.
It is heartbreaking to think that there are people out there just like him, or mother’s whose children are on wayward paths of destruction, or mothers who have angel babies, or children who have angel mums. I, myself, have three angel babies whom I will meet one day.
All last week and up to today, my heart and prayers have been with every mother and every child out there who have broken relationships with each other. I have prayed for restoration of relationships, and in the situations where this is not possible, or safe, a peace in their hearts and minds that it is ok to not have them in their life.
However Mothers Day ended up for you, I hope you had a great day creating memories that will last a lifetime.
Much love to all xx