You can love anything really.
You can love your mum and dad. You can love your brother and sister. You can love your children. You can love your husband and wife. You can love your cat, dog, bird, fish, lizard. You can love your bike or car or skateboard. You can love flowers, trees or insects. You can love roller-coasters and swimming.
There is no limit to the things love can attach itself to.
It’s grand. It’s wonderful. It’s exciting. It’s romantic. It’s fun. It’s dreamy. It can be all-consuming like an addiction!
But love can also be hard, scary, confusing, hurtful, shattering, desperate, not reciprocated, or a triangle.
When it comes to relationships, love definitely doesn’t ask for permission before falling upon a person. It doesn’t discriminate against anyone based on religion, gender, age, nationality, physical features, or anything else really.
It’s timing can be all wrong.
And sometimes, love just isn’t enough.
The one thing all types of love have in common is RISK.
You risk your heart. You become vulnerable to another person or thing which can disappear with no warning and for no reason.
You risk time. The time you spend with another person or thing, if it fails for whatever reason, can’t be regained to be put into someone or something else.
For instance, if you are into swimming, and you’re so passionate about it you want to go to the Olympics, then you will put so much of your heart, determination, commitment and time into it that it literally becomes a part of who you are. You need it as much as you need your lungs. If anything was to happen to prevent you from continuing on with that dream, it would probably feel like someone has cut off your oxygen. It would be devastatingly heartbreaking and all that time may well feel like it was for nothing.
That’s what we humans do for love. No matter what the love is aimed at, we willingly risk everything to give it a shot.
Well, most of us. Some of us have just been so hurt so many times, they have given up on love and prefer to not get close to anyone. They don’t want to risk getting hurt again. The only thing with that is it isn’t actually risk-free. You risk friendships, love, happiness and belonging, and hurting yourself. In the end, the person you have tried to protect (yourself) is ultimately the one you hurt the most.
It’s so true when they say we are our own worst enemies.
Then there are those relationships where no matter how much the couple love and care about each other, it just isn’t enough to make the relationship viable long-term. They are the ones where you have to go against your heart and make a decision you know is right but feels so wrong. Maybe the couple want different things (such as wanting children). Maybe they have triggers and/or healing points which make the relationship not healthy for either party if it were to continue. Whatever the reason, sometimes love doesn’t conquer all like we are led to believe. It truly isn’t all that’s needed for a long-lasting, healthy and safe relationship.
When I was 16, I wrote a four-line poem about the heart. Nothing fancy or profound, no wondrous words, or rhyming and not necessarily anything new. But I think it is pretty clear that at 16, I had watched too many episodes of Days Of Our Lives when this one came to mind!
Like a glass cup
Thrown against a hard floor,
So is the heart
So easily shattered.
Written by Allison Rose Clark © 1990