Good morning to all my wonderful readers and followers!!
Just want to let you know from here-on-in, my blog posts will be published on Thursday mornings. Lots of things have been happening and I’ve had to review my weekly routines and activities. Thus, my decision to change my blog publishing day has been one of better organising myself.
So, I hope your week so far has been a good one. My last few weeks haven’t been. In fact, the last few months have been challenging to say the least. With my Grandma passing away, an argument and misunderstanding with a friend, and the stress of being out of work with financial struggles not to mention Centrelink online reporting issues going on since June, it has all taken a toll.
My mental health is triggered by stress. So, you can imagine how my mind is at the moment. A total mess! My emotions as well.
When I’m triggered, my memory can go MIA. It’s normal for my mind to shut down and I can’t hear my thoughts even though I know they’re there. In those moments, I can’t think or focus on questions, or anything. If the thing causing the stress isn’t eliminated, or removed from being near me, I totally shut down and sit in a ball on the floor rocking back and forth.
During everyday conversations, I sometimes have trouble keeping my mind focused on what’s being said depending on the stresses around me and how they’re affecting me. When this happens, every word has the potential to be lost before it’s finished being spoken regardless of being reminded of the topic or having my memory jogged. That’s when I have to write things down more stringently than normal. Even then, there’s no guarantees.
This time, however, my forgetfulness has become a huge problem. I’ve been forgetting appointments and picking up my kids. It’s effecting my life significantly! It’s so much worse than previous times. Hence, on Friday, I’ll be undergoing a CT scan to ensure the issue is purely stress.
Obviously, I’m not too stressed about it! NOT! At the moment, everything is a stresser 😦
Even though the likelihood of it being anything else but stress given my history is pretty slim, it’s always a concern when your GP decides to send you for a CT scan anyway. That’s how serious my doctor is taking this memory stuff. Can’t help but feel a little on edge and will be utterly relieved when the results come back confirming I have nothing squatting in my skull with my brain. Also, when your GP acts this way, even though you try not to think about it, you just can’t stop it – life is short and it’s no more real than when you’re contemplating (or having been confirmed) serious health implications, which may not eventuate at all. No matter what the percentage is of the perceived risk, my brain is still mulling over it.
Our health is something many of us take for granted I think. Until we’re sick, we don’t give it much thought outside of exercise and eating the right things – most of the time anyway. Sometimes, our body is trying to tell us something, but we aren’t listening. We brush it aside as something trivial or not important. Especially if we take good care of ourselves. Why would it be more than something minor? Even when it continues to happen, we can still find our original reasoning coming to the forefront of our mind causing us to ignore it again, and again, and again. It may not be until someone says to you that it isn’t normal, for whatever reason, that you consider getting it checked out.
Hopefully, it’s indeed a small matter, easily treated, or things haven’t been left too long if it isn’t.
I try to be diligent and be aware of what my triggers are, so I can recognise the symptoms I get prior to an episode. If, like now, it is out of normal scope for me, I know I need to get further medical treatment and investigations. Which is what I’m doing. It’s called self-care – an action plan. It also helps I have a great support network I can turn to if I need help.
If there is one thing I can advise you today, it is to listen to your body. You know it better than your GP or anyone else. You know what is normal for you. If you have concerns, insist on getting tests. Get a second opinion. A third even. If the results or opinion of one Dr isn’t sitting right with you, just doesn’t make sense, or you just can’t shake it, then don’t give up until you have that peace. They may think you’re a little loopy, but better to be loopy than sorry for not taking action.