Assumptions. We all make them. We do it all the time.
Why do we do that?
Just answering this question requires me to assume what people would be thinking in order to come up with the assumptions they make. It’s a guess based on my own experiences and the reasons for why I have in the past.
Let’s look at some of the reasons which may lead us to make an assumption about something or someone in the first place.
- We like to know the why.
One thing we humans hate is not knowing. Somehow it reflects on our intelligence, or gives us a feeling of being left out or behind. Or maybe our sense of security it threatened. But whatever the reason, we need to know so we can understand. So,we try and think of reasons why someone would do what they are doing or have done, or why something is the way it is. Doesn’t always alleviate our insecurities, or feeling left out, or whatever, but it does help to cope with things a bit better.
For me, knowing why something is happening and/or why a person is behaving the way they are helps me to be see things in a different light,and most times will change, if already determined, my reaction and decisions.I’m able to be flexible, understanding, and compassionate. It can help me to calm down if I’m upset. Puts a whole new spin on things, sometimes for the good, and sometimes not so much.
- We like to figure things out for ourselves.
Not everyone likes being told they are wrong. Each of us likes to think we are right in most things. So, when we see things happening, we like to figure out for ourselves what is going on without being told.
There may be a situation where you’re sitting with your friends discussing something about someone trying to figure out what it going on with the person because they are acting weirder than normal. It’s like a competition almost to see who might be right when (and if) they find out for sure. Or you might be doing this on your own. But in any case, we are doing this because we are too afraid to ask in case we are wrong and embarrass ourselves or them. But we’re also talking/thinking about it because we care.
When I was younger, if anyone asked me what I was doing, or why, I was afraid of saying in case it was wrong and I was in trouble. If someone approached me and told me I was wrong in anything, I would go off in a huff, or cry. Mostly cry.
- We like to think we know more than we really do.
Sometimes,what is going on around us is something we know something about. For instance, there’s a subject being spoken about which you know a lot about and then someone mentions a certain person you mutually know as being a great example of the topic being discussed. You disagree and so you have a heated discussion about this person because you believe they’re wrong about the friend. We like to think we know our friends extremely well, that if there was ever a query about them, we’d know exactly why.
In this example, there is an equal chance of being wrong as there is of being right because the other person has come to their assumption from their own observations and experiences as much as you have. You might be completely right about your friend, but it’s still an assumption on both parts until proven otherwise. Every now and then, no matter how confident we are, our friends will prove us to be wrong and have a totally different reason for having done something. Doesn’t mean you don’t know your friend well, but it does mean that assumptions aren’t always correct just because you think you know a person better than someone else.
You will never know someone 100% because you can’t hear their thoughts. This is why people are in shock when they, for example, uncover an affair, or the police arrest their partner for a crime, or their child over doses on drugs. They assume they’d never do such things based on their own knowledge of the person in question.
In the past, I’ve made statements to my children such as “I don’t think they would do that,” to which they respond with “you don’t know that mum. What if you’re wrong? You’re making an assumption.” I try to defend my statement by saying because I know them, but they reply with “but you can’t get into their head, mum. Until you can, you’re just making an assumption.”They’ve said this to me on a number of occasions. My youngest has even made the statement “Mum, it’s twenty eighteen. You can’t assume.”
And I have to admit, they’re right.
Come to think of it, an assumption is essentially a judgement.
At the end of the day, there is also the possibility you will never find out if you are right or wrong. Hence, your thoughts will remain an assumption surrounded by mystery.
Maybe you’ll find out the truth when you reach the other side of this life?
So, as the saying goes…… Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME
Share with me your thoughts.
Now, if you’re assuming my blog is done, you’ve judged correctly 😊
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